I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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