Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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