she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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