ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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