i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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