i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
