my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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