If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
