I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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