okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
