I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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