You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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