My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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