my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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