Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
