Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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