I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
