I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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