No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
