Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Randomize
