They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
