we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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