You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
there is glitter all over my balls
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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