if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize