That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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