shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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