i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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