guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
