Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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