ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm just crazy horny about you
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
