You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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