He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
