He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Panties = found
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
