He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
