If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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