There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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