I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
