I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
