you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
