the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
