I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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