dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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