WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
