have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
