corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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