wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
