i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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