Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
