Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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