You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
