dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
