More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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