I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
