i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
