so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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