what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
