the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
