Walk of Shame. In a state park.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
