I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
