yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Be still, my beating vagina.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
