Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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