New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize